Shoveling Shit

I don't mind cleaning up my roommate's shit. As long as it's not the emotional kind.

Okay, little sleep, a full day of work, then driving 45 minutes home just does not mix. I had to slap my leg just keep myself awake. I hate that feeling, at every stoplight, I just had to close my eyes, they were just to heavy. I sometimes wonder if there is a god. Then I have times like this, where if there wasn't one looking out for me I surely won't have been able to drive and make it home safely.

Of course once I made if back to my townhome, it wasn't much better. I didn't have a key to get in, so I had to wait until one of my roommates could come home and let me in. I then went upstairs to my bedroom and collapsed on the bed, simply to exhausted. I was woken up two hours later by my roommates screaming. They were watching "The Ring". I had choices of what to do for the night, but I simply didn't have the drive to do any of them. I settled on going downstairs and watching the movie with my roommates, because I could hear the movie in my room anyways. This, was a mistake. I can't watch scary movies. As much as I enjoy my books about vampires, werewolves, and witches, these people un-understandable bad things are just on an entirely different level. I was freaked. I had to have one of my roommates go upstairs with me since I was too scared to go on my own. But that changed pretty fast. (if you ever get really scared, the best way to get over it, is to then get really mad).

My roommates decided to then watch "The Wedding Singer" because that should help with my freaked-out-ness. But from the very beginning of the movie my roommate wouldn't shut up. (Okay, about me- I have 20% hearing loss, and if you talk during a movie, or there is more than one noise, I can't hear) So I kept telling her to stop, to be quiet, that I was trying to hear what was going on.... well, suffice to say it didn't sink in and I got mad. She called me a bitch (I HATE that word) and I got upset and decided that I wanted nothing more than to just go home. By home, I mean go to my parent's house about 45 min. away. So I packed and left. No explanation. So my homecoming tonight should be fun.

Why does everythings need to be so complicated. Maybe I do overreact, but what's wrong with a little consideration and kindness. I just don't get it. I don't know what to do with this sort of shit.

Okay enough negitivity. I'm excited because I'm going to go watch "Pursuit of Happyness" later. I'm showing it to a friend of mine who is a non-believer. (in Will Smith that is). I'm a big Will Smith fan, but my friend Joe doesn't think that Will can play any other character than the Fresh Prince Character. We'll see what he thinks after tonight.

Halloween Party

I had a halloween party last night, it was a lot of fun. I was Groucho Marx, my roommates were a lacrosse player and Batgirl. It was pretty fun.... okay, hanging with the guys was fun.
Have you ever had friends, and you really like them, but they do things that you just don't understand. Like, one of my roommates insists on whenever we have guys over, she quizzes them about sexual/relationship things because evidently she likes to embarrass me. Oh, and she likes to drink. She says it helps her unwind, but with the amount she consumes, she's not unwinding, she's getting drunk. But she sits there and tries to justify her actions. I just don't understand.

Oh, and there's my other roommate. Okay, so I can't let her take total blame for it, but I was kidding around, and her way of reaction was to dump the bowl of trailmix in my lap... my blame comes from playing around, I wasn't serious, but evidently she didn't realize that. Go figure. But other than that, it was a fun party.

I think it's sad though, I invited about 30 people, but only 3 came, in addition to my roommates and me. I think I may never have a wild party, but I do wish that more people would come.
I'm supposed to go to the Rocky Horror Picture Show thing at the Union tonight, but I don't think I will. I didn't get to sleep until 2am... actually later than that, last night. I had to get up at 7am to get to work at 9am. I'm so tired. I think I may just watch a movie tonight, and chill.

Exciting, yeah I know.

Random thoughts, and a step in the right direction?

What to write about today??? Hummm, I realized that I totally suck at financial responsibility, I have decided that need help managing it, and my time. So I have decided to bribe my roommate, Sally, into helping me with these problems. I realize that it won't be easy, but I think that it will be for the best. (besides I think that it may really be for the best). I suppose time will show if this course of action will pan out. I hope so, but even if nothing else happens, my mom was happy that I was at least making the effort. Yeah, so that's my achievement for the day. That, and I went to all of my classes today. Which is good, I've actually skipped the same class twice in a row earlier, not the smartest move. And the stupidest part of that not smart decision was that it was in a class where attendance is really important. So I guess I made two steps in the right direction. Two steps forward ~Tiffany

Journey:
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Getting things done... very slowly (sorta rant)

I think that I have finally gotten smarter. Or I may have finally become so distressed by my situation that I have decided to take action. It's not the first time, nor probably the last, that my distress has lead me to actually act on my irritation. It takes a lot sometimes to get me to move my lazy butt to make my situation better. Take my room for instance. It's a mess. I know that I'm a pack-rat. I come from a long line of pack-rats. It's a terrible trait. I have things I don't use, have never used, and probably will never use again. But simply because I don't know what to do with them, how to get rid of it, and the possiblity that someday I will need it, I keep it. Such as this pack of all different kinds of paper. I bought about 7 years ago. I still have it on the off chance that I might someday need it to do a school project or something equally crafty again. However since the day I last used it 7 years ago, it has taken residence in a folder, in a box that never sees light. It simply sits there. I know that this is just one of the many things that I really need to find a new home for. Okay, so this boils down to the occasional thought of "maybe I should get rid of this stuff". But invaribly I get distracted and say "screw it". I need to fix my ADHD. I think that's the source. Okay, but this is not what this blog is about. This blog is about the things that I let bother me until I finally do something about them, but by that point I'm really irritated. Like when my roommates talk while I'm trying to concentrate (ie now). I could say something, but they will get upset and mad and so I don't say anything. But in about 5 minutes I will burst out.... okay this is... hold on I gotta scroll back up. Okay so the original point was about the KU Park & Ride and how I finally called them and found out that they are screwing me over, and instead of calling earlier to voice my opinion I waited and called today, only to find out that it's too late to downgrade my Park & Ride Pass for a yellow pass, which has been given the same privledges as a Park & Ride Pass because the KU Parking Dept. didn't sell enough of the Park & Ride Passes. So I'm out the extra $50 or so. Damn you KU Park & Ride! Okay, so this was a sort of ramble. Oh, and my orginal point also had to do with my earlier post. I finally came downstairs and turned up the heat! Or rather turned the heat on! Yay me! Realization, one step in the right direction. ~Tiffany

Journey:
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8am Cold

There is nothing quite like 8am cold. It has it's own special kind of evil built into it. Not only are you trying to wake up and somehow muster the will to be perky about it, but you also have the added draw of "oh my bed is so warm, and everything outside my bed is f**kin' cold. It makes me just want to hide away in my bed and say "education? what? do i really need this? I mean I could just stay home and do... nothing. Just stay in bed." But really how practical is that? I need my books. Alas, so now it is 8:36 and I'm off to go make my lunch and then to drive to school where I get to look forward to lectures, discussions and boredom. Oh well. Hi ho hi ho it's off to school I go. ~Tiffany

Journey:

Decisons

Lately it's all been coming down around my head. The fact that I'm going to be graduating in August, and as yet, have no plans for the future. I've always lived according to what I thought was the think to do, but now I'm not so sure. There are tons of paths. There are a couple that stand out to me.

I could go straight from college, go to work for some monster company: make money, have my own place and finally get the boston terrier puppy that I hav always wanted.
I could go to travel for a while, I've always wanted to go live in Ireland and have my own place where I could walk to the local pub and hang out while listening to the sounds of a lively irish jig.
I could go work for a smaller company, get a loan and a small place and my puppy. It wouldn't be big city crazy, but I don't know if that's really for me anyways.

I could go work for the peace corp or something equally helpful to mankind. I've always loved helping other people.

The problem that I'm running into is that I don't really know what I want to do with my life. I don't know what road/path is mine. Is it the highway that is always rushing towards the big city and the bigger picture? the gravel path that winds and curves around hills? or is it the one that is a small town street filled with waving friendly people? or one in a foreign city I've never seen.
Yeah, this is pretty heavy stuff for my first entry in my blog, but when is a better time? I just thought I'd send these thoughts that have been troubling me into the great wide world and hope that an answer comes back to me. I know that I'm not the only one to come to this fork, but I just wish someone would tell me how they made their decision. That's what I want. If anyone reads this, let me know, not what decision I should make, but rather, how to make it. Sage advice is what I seek. Thanks, til later. ~Tiffany

Starting Journey: